Twenty minutes a day is all her teacher asks of her. Couple of homework pages, some spelling words, and twenty minutes of reading make up the weekly schoolwork routine for Rainbow Girl. To make sure we don't lag behind on her reading requirements, it helps when you have some text that reall engages the kid, keeps them interested, excited, and anxious to turn the next page. This week, the book that has consumed my kids has been this one:

Literacy puts a whole new spin of involvement with the beloved JCPenney Toy Catalog. Rainbow Girl pored over each page and then wrote out her official "Christmas List". Here she is showing one of her favorites on the list: Microscope Mega-Screen.

It reminds me of when I was a kid. The JCPenney book was always getting stuck on the page with the two-person cars for kids. I dreamt of driving around Apache Avenue free of menacing pedal-power. The widow with the full cookie jar, Mrs. Hyde, I could drive right up to her front step and relive the glories of Halloween every day of the year. I could always count on getting some sugar from her house, along with a shoulder-wrenching hug. Mrs. Hyde, the Archibald's next door, my best friend Beth, they'd all become my #1 fans. Me and my car...I'd be the coolest kid on Apache Avenue.

So I couldn't help bust up laughing when Rainbow Girl started reading off her own Christmas List. Here's her list in all it's phonetic glory:

Pink ipod

telascop

computer

(by this time, Mrs. Olsen is laughing her head off. "Nice try kid". But wait, it gets better)

camera

Dough-Na-matic

Marshmallow Blaster

buble gum masheen

phone

Julre Box

neclise

bracelet

ring

cottin candy Masheen

electric gutar

Play Kichin

Play farm with animals

Green Dragon

Mrs. Olsen: You were just telling me all you wanted was Pet Shop stuff.

(Rainbow Girl scrambles to the list and returns with 2 more additions)

100 Pet Shops

a cat

You know, I never got that car I drooled over year after year in the JCPenney catalog. But looking back, there are no heart-breaking disappointments I can recall during my Apache Avenue Christmases. So I think Rainbow Girl will be alright not winning the kid lottery this Christmas.

I always wanted my kids to be bilingual. I figured I'd do my time as a missionary for my church, become fluent in another exotic language, and then talk double-speak to all my offspring. Funny that I was called to serve in Florida, where they speak a weird English dialect using phrases like: pitching a fit, bowling peanuts (can you guess what that is?), and hi y'all, bye y'all, love y'all.

Now that I have a kid in the U.S. Education System, I was crossing my fingers they'd be pumping those spongey brains of theirs with foreign language, since I wasn't blessed with the gift of tongues on the mish. No can do. Crazy thing is, those Olsen Aunties I'm related to by marriage, have taught or tutored English in these places: China, Korea, Thailand, and Israel.

Guess what? Just about every place on the planet knows at least 2 languages, and usually English is one of them.

Which makes this current situation a good thing: a Cache Valley non-profit Sparrow Alliance came across boxes and boxes....and boxes of text books.

These books are still in good condition, and are being rescued from the landfill. Go Sparrows!

PLUS...they're getting a ride to Ghana Africa for kids in the education system (with the help from donors like you!). They will begin incorporating them into their future curriculum even before the books arrive.

So if you live in the Cache Valley Area, and would like to be thoroughly entertained by the fiddle-crazy Leapin Lulu then please join Sparrow on Main Street in Logan on Thursday, November 20th (and please forward to all your Cache Valley buddies). Please note that suggested donations have adjusted to $8/person or $15/couple.

If you don't live in Cache Valley, but have a willing heart to donate for this cause, click here

Last November I gave birth to the giant of the newborn nursery. My earliest baby (by 2 weeks) and my biggest at 9 lb 4oz. Does anyone feel sorry for me?

Would you look at those cheeks? You can't even tell he's got big gorgeous eyes yet because his face is drowning in fat.

Book a flight to/from Salt Lake International Airport through Southwest for 50% off (thanks for the tip-off Dani).

Last day to purchase is today, November 18, 2008

Travel window: December 3rd, 2008 through February 11, 2009

Of course blackout dates apply: no discount if you fly between December 18th and January 4th.

Don't forget the promo code: FLYSLC

Where should we go?

I just priced out a round-trip flight to Boston for The Mister of the House and me for only $400. Hmmm.

Since I spent last week glorifying my own Christmas list through my expert gift consultation ideas, I figured I would stop sounding like a commercial and talk about just one more thing you need to buy right now or your life will be forever changed for the worse.

Okay so back up a little. Here's a picture of my niece that's the same age as Vanilla Wafer. This picture will force the oohs and aahs out of you. Wait for it.....

wait for it....

(now scroll down).

Good one, huh? This is Marshall, and he married into the digitally-enhanced Olsen Family just like me. Here he is kissing his newborn daughter one more time before he boards the plane taking him to his deployment in Iraq. Me and all the Olsen's were wrenching our hands together in worry until he came back, safe and sound, a year later.

Having a baby at practically the same time (little niece is just 3 weeks younger than Vanilla Wafer), meant dealing with the worry of a potentially fatherless niece on top of my own hormones, crazed milk glands, sleepless nights, and dirty diapers. Having a newborn can make a woman in desperate need of her husband, even if it's just to change diapers, give shoulder rubs, tell her she's still pretty, and most importantly, to show off newly-acquired baby tricks. Sorry you had to do that alone Ting.



Although her dad missed her baby-tricks for the first year, he has made up for it now. Here's little niece now with two of my offspring. Aren't they all just happy and beautiful? Marshall has now been with her longer than he was apart from her, and I daresay she can't even remember her daddy was gone. She will be forever blessed by his service, and more than in the unquestioning reverence we so often give our soldiers (and they rightly deserve), but because of the thoughtfulness of his service.

I have sat back and witnessed the wrenching of body and soul while Marshall worked out his duel roles as soldier and follower of Christ. It was and is a thoughtful and painful process. So when Marshall returned from Iraq, he began his own catharsis by proclaiming peace through a 500-mile walk through the state of Utah. And those multimedia proned Olsen's followed him all along with their cameras. I can safely say that this is a certifiable Olsen Product, their very first feature-length documentary. I'm quite sure it won't be their last.

Among highlighting the Olsen video-gene, this documentary features

• Martin Sheen
• M.C. Hammer (for real people! minus the famous Hammer-Pants)
• Cindy Sheehan
• Ron Kovic (author of Born on the Fourth of July)
• and more importantly, in a blink or you'll miss her debut...my own little Rainbow Girl

For more info or to get on a waiting list for the DVD release, go here.

When I married The Mister of the House, I inherited a closet full of games. The man has a logical steel trap for a brain, and I dare say it was partly trained through game-play. So just trust me on this recommendation for gift-giving this holiday season. Your loved one does not need to be a game-player to love this set-up.

Social game player? Check
9-year old niece? Check
Reformed gaming nerd? Check
Easily distracted Grandma? Check
Competetive Coach Uncle? Check. Check. Check.

It's Clue with a twist for 2-8 players. Kill Doctor Lucky. Don't look for it in the box stores, get it online or at specialty game shops.

1. Do the dishes
2. Rub your feet with lotion (this coupon would have been redeemed by my own mother twenty times over)
3. Clean my room
4. Bake some homemade cookies just for you
5. Blah blah blah

I'm so happy to have a paper trail of good parenting, I promptly display them in my scrapbook never to be redeemed.

Let's be honest folks. Does anyone ever really use these coupon books full of promised favors and services? Okay, maybe one or two, but the whole thing?

As a disclaimer** For Mrs. Olsen, having a coupon book proving my kid loved me, or had an independent thought of helping without asking....it actually would be enough during Christmastime. From my kids.

But if you're actually thinking about giving one of these to a friend, or worse, your spouse? Please think again.

Let's get out the microscope and look at the real reason someone would conjure up this gift for their husband or wife: Please can we actually go out on a real date! I need to feel the love, and get out of the house!

A couple years ago I spared The Mister of the House a coupon book begging for back-rubs and instead put my money where my mouth was. And it all fit neatly into one little stocking.

• Gift certificate to his favorite restaurant that we eventually go to anyway
• Tickets to local theatre with an actual reserved seat, actual date and a starting time
• Ticket to favorite sporting event with an actual reserved seat, actual date and a starting time (I actually bought a discounted group of tickets for 5 games of our closest pro team, then gave the tix to every sport nut on my list. ebay or craigslist is key P.S. they all loved it)
• Gift certificate to movie theatre so we can be spontaneous
• Gift Certificates for Gas Cards also go a long way in today's economy
• You get the picture

The bonus to this gift option is that you are feeling the love with your spouse. Everyone's happy.

December 26th Interview: So planet earth, newly spoiled kids, tired moms and college kids on temporary break....what was your favorite thing about Christmas this year?


Kid: My 100+ collection of Little Pet Shop!
Mom: [Yawn] I'm sorry what?
College Kid: I got some skis that rocked!
Dad: [mumbles] I need to get back to work to pay off all this stuff we got.

March 1st Interview: So planet earth, spoiled kids, tired moms and college kids waiting for Spring Break....what was your favorite thing about Christmas last year?

Kid: Um, my birthday is next week and I want a new bike.
Mom: White Christmases are my favorite.
College Kid: Spring Break we're gonna party at the beach!
Dad: [mumbles] I can't believe I'm still paying off all that stuff.
Interviewer: Sorry Dad, no one asked you.



There's so many places I could go from here. I could talk about really....really! getting down to what the season is about. That's vital, it is. I'm one of those that dares to say "Merry Christmas!". But I'm not going to go there. Maybe on another day.

Instead I'm trying to make this gift thing a little easier, plus as a bonus, your giftee will remember your love once a month and memories of your Christmas love will never wane.

I got one of these gifts last Christmas from my dad. And if you're reading this blog, then you just might be the perfect market. Why? Because all this internet blogging stuff is about digesting small bits of information. We're not here reading novels are we? We get baited by the little snippets, the informative articles...just like in magazines. Every month I'm saying I Love You Dad when I get the Reader's Digest one year subscription he signed me up for last December.

Here's some subscriptions that will get those on your gift list remembering your love all year long:

Best Value

Family Fun Magazine is great for any human that has born children in the last 13 years. Rainy day activities, travel highlights, holiday crafts, and the annual toy preview are just a few of the reasons I love this magazine. Plus it's cheap. $10 for a year (10 issues).

Reader's Digest is great for its overall appeal for young and old alike. My last issue got me salivating with an article about solar cars! Also a steal at $10 a year (12 issues).

Target Appeal
News junkies from the both sides of the spectrum will appreciate the weekly subscription to The Economist. This British magazine helps put U.S. news into a broader world perspective, which can be vital in our polarized political climate. Subscription options range from weekly to every other week, and prices range from $59.76 to $116.79.

Merry Christmas to me! Wannabe hippies wanting to learn more about our beautiful planet will appreciate a subscription to The Orion. Nature writings are the core of this magazine, with environmental and cultural issues broadening the range of issues discussed. Published just 6 times per year, this magazine runs for $35.00 per year. A special holiday promotion allows 2 gift subscriptions for $35.00.

Go Nuts!

If jeans and T's are the core of your loved ones wardrobe, then giving them a monthly T-Shirt from the funky and ever-changing Threadless is the key to unending grooviness. Their "12Club" allows a new T every month for a year. You don't get to choose the design, but chances are you'll still be the coolest kid on the block. $200 per year and also includes a $30 gift certificate.