Mrs. Olsen, I Presume?

If there's some lovin' on the offspring, reminiscing on the childhood, and growin' into some country air...then just presume, it's Mrs. Olsen.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Prank Watch and a Steal of a Deal

Tomorrow is April Fools Day. My own childhood list of auxiliary annoyances included: shortsheeting beds, balancing a (paper) cup of water against a cracked doorway, or blasting ketchup packets after faux falling on the asphalt.

Now that I have my own offspring to teach the wonders of pranks, I rely on a Mrs. Olsen staple: Family Fun Magazine.


One April prank I found at this mag I tried a couple years ago. I fixed dinner and halfway through, brought out the meatloaf that just made it out of the oven.

other holiday fun include these lil' smokies we like to eat up in the autumn.


Birthday tips abound as well

Which is why you must know about this once in a blue moon deal. Give 4 annual subscriptions of Family Fun Magazine for just $5 each. I'm not sure when this deal ends, but it looks like it will be good into the month of May (for Mother's Day). Here's the link for the $5 subscriptions
here.

Labels: creativity

Friday, March 27, 2009

Energy Hog Meets Video Star

When I was in 7th grade I went to a school that looked like a prison and had a hairstyle fitting for a criminal. If you were to stand outside the school, you would see mullets and ratty hair floating body-less from the state penitentiary windows which were set no lower than 60 inches from the floor. Did I mention the school was concrete blocks? Unpainted? With no windows from which you could get a decent view? And had to be closed down a few years back while they detoxed the asbestos from the premises? (NOTE TO HOMETOWN: Get a new school!)

And yet while I did my term there, what with my permed hair and white-washed jeans, I didn't think of architecture as enhancement to my education. I was only aware of E S P R I T bags casually loaded with hairspray, combs, gum, and magazines draped on lockers purposely cracked in order to display our latest in Idaho fashion accessories. I saw Guess Jeans and Converse shoes, and grocery store delis across the street so I wouldn't be caught in the school cafeteria during lunch hour. And like every American-made kid in 1987, I beleaguered my parents with the fact (like all my siblings) that I needed a Nintendo so I could save The Princess.


It worked! All five kids on Apache Avenue got a Nintendo that Christmas and it came with Super Mario Brothers. I plunked my butt down on the couch the entire Christmas break, and cleared a huge stash of Christmas ribbon candy while I learned about crabs of death, mushrooms for growth, and dragons of fear. All the while I chomped on some of the crummiest candy invented.

I gained fifteen pounds that Christmas break, and I didn't even save the princess. But I kept working throughout my 7th grade year, and eventually I made it all the way to the 8th world, on the 4th level, where I met my fate with my final and last dragon to save the bloomered and bonneted Princess.

And then I was cured. I went through high school and college watching boys (and men) live and die for video games, and thought they needed to get a life.

The point is that after years of prodding, The Mister of the House finally convinced me to get a Wii (what with the family games and live-action-off-your-rear aspect of the whole enterprise). And soon after that, we went to the Wii store online and purchased the classic 1980's Nintendo Game Super Mario Brothers.

And it has been on my Wii for about a year. Once in a while I would sit and try my skills, die a quick death, and go fix dinner.

But this March, the bug bit me and I decided I needed to save The Princess. And this week I discovered how to warp to world 8 and it threw another log onto the fire. And today? My kids have been eating Cap'n Crunch while I practiced and practiced until my left thumb was aching (cringe) and guess what?



I saved her. And I squealed just like a princess, and my kids (bless their little hearts) cheered for me.


IN YOUR FACE DRAGON! IN YOUR FACE!

Okay, so I got caught up with Mario and became a bad mom and now that I can breathe again I can step away, cross the street, and study the architecture of this situation.

FACT:
  • A 50-inch Plasma TV, when turned on for five hours in one day, uses the same amount of energy as a refridgerator (the most common energy hog in your household).
  • I'm quite sure that when including the nature documentary the family is watching this Friday night, my 52-inch Plasma TV has been on on for five hours today (cringe. again.)
  • Tomorrow I will try to make up for it by honoring EARTH HOUR (and you should too). Even the temple is doing it.
  • From 8:30 to 9:30, it's LIGHTS OUT.
  • Got that! Saturday March 28th, pull out your candles and have a romantic dinner, tell ghost stories, or suck your thumb in the dark while the LIGHTS ARE OUT between 8:30 and 9:30 pm.



Labels: Apache Avenue Memories, enviro tips, Keeping it Real

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Second Week of Tragedy for Mrs. Olsen

Why meeEeee?


Please help.







Seriously, I need a good vacuum. I don't know what my budget is. Dyson on the ball looks so fun and delightful....but bagless vacuums seem filthy and dirty. What do you have? Are you a smart consumer? Consult me!



The funny thing about this clip (which you probably were forwarded about 10 times over the holidays) is that I would have looooved to get a vacuum. The Mister of the House, are you reading this? No doghouse if you bring me a good vacuum sometime...;)




Labels: domesticity

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Lovely Monday on a Tuesday: Mom and Dad

Until the Olsen wedding next month, I'm clean out of kissing pictures to showcase. Well, clean out after this next one of Wade and Marilyn, Idaho natives and former dwellers of Apache Avenue. Also known as the big people who taught me how to ride a bike, how to laugh, and how to set the table. Check out how cute they are:



Here they are just appeasing my requests for a kissing picture. My dad, lover of Louis L'Amour novels who thinks shovels and hard work speak louder than words, has never been one for much public displays of affection. He also will perform a disappearing act anytime somebody starts talking about bras, maxi pads, or pregnancies.

I don't think that picture is making it onto my kissing wall. I have a better one in mind.


That's more like it, don't you think? I edited the picture to have full glow, because they are taking a bath in love and light. That kiss looks more real, and my mom is smiling in her eyes.

So what makes their love unique? Um, where do I start? They married while in college, my dad was a wiry b-ball player and my mom was a pageant queen with a 25-inch waist. Their first date was at the A&W, and my dad ordered french fries. My mom ordered a salad. She ate half his fries (or so he said) and we all heard about it every time we ate a Happy Meal. She would giggle and remind us that she didn't kiss him until the 13th date (or so she said) while he smirked. It took the family approximately 40 years to get the story straight, and I still don't remember the true story because I've heard the legends for so long.


Amazingly, they have been married 47 years this summer. That is really weird for me. And in that 47 years they left the farm, started a new life as teachers, wanted kids but couldn't have any...and then starting in 1969 {an anxious seven years after their marital vows} their prayers were answered and they had my brother Derek. Over the next eight years they cranked out 4 more kids and bought a spud farm on the side. And when I was two, they lost their shirts, pants, and underwear on that spud farm, which produced a lifetime crop of cautious, conservative, hard-working teachers instead of farmers.

She never pumps her own gas, and he lives off Cheetos and fruit spritzers if she's ever out of town. He was an athlete who grew up in the era when only flambuoyant men worked in Department stores, and yet he happily (and privately) delved into the (effeminate?) role of doting, singing, lullabying, floor wrestling, and making-up-songs Dad and Grandpa. She adored that about him, and provided 5 kids to practice on. Oh and he also chucked shoes at us if we got out of bed (there's that athlete part coming through). As long as his shoe hit the wall instead of our head (which it always did for some reason) she swooned at his superior athletic skills.

Mom and Dad...I love you!

Labels: Apache Avenue Memories, kiss, Marriage

Monday, March 23, 2009

Before Eating Your Pet Chickens, Fix This Instead

We're still mourning the loss of our chickens, and today to top it all off...snow! After our recent flirtations with the sun, we are trying to not take it personal that the sun hasn't bothered: calling, returning our affection, or coming by to heat up those daffodils he left behind...now frozen. So today I made this soup.

But there's soooo many other reasons you should start making this soup on a regular basis:

A) It's a great food storage soup
B) tons of fiber and vegetables
C) Indian soup means it's full of flavor and deliciousness

















Spicy Chickpea Tomato Soup
2 - 19oz cans chickpeas (aka garbanzo beans), drained
1 - 13.5 oz. can coconut milk
2 - 14.5 oz can petite diced tomatoes
1/2 bunch of roughly de-stemmed cilantro
1/2 cup apple juice
1/2 tsp garam masala
1/2 tsp ground ginger
1 tsp salt

Throw in blender everything but spices, chicken stock, and 1 can of tomatoes. Puree to desired consistency. Transfer to pan and heat through while adding the rest of ingredients.

Garnish: 1/2 cup plain yogurt and chopped scallions (green part only)

Labels: recipe, Vanilla Wafer

Friday, March 20, 2009

Everybody Likes Chicken

March has been an exciting month for Bok Bok Cottage! Before you open up our hens March Adventures, make note that our feathery friends have their egg production posted on the sidebar of this blog. And now....Mrs. Olsen presents....passion, intrigue, trickery, and tragedy that happened in a springtime March, in the shadows of the mountains, at Bok Bok Cottage.






In March, the snow finally melted and the sun teased us with a few unexpected visits.

















We're not sure whether to have a funeral or eat them.

Labels: chickens

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Economy on and off the farm

So my folks are retired, and most of my friends parents are in retirement. For this generation of baby boomers, their lifetimes represent a major shift from rural areas, some having left the farm for college (both of my folks did) and make their way in a less dirty world to be coaches, teachers, shopowners, and the like. For people like my parents that grew up on the farm, they had to learn that:



life on the farm also left you thin and tan: ooh-la-la

  • Life on the farm teaches you to work, and save...but not invest
  • And by practicing these farm ethics, along with the wisdom of Wall Street, they would have a healthy nest egg in which to retire

  • I really have no idea if my folks lost their shirt with all this stock market crap, and frankly it's not really any of my business. But I do know that they had some in the market...

  • I bet they're a little annoyed right now

  • Are you retired? Are you annoyed?

  • I can't help notice that folks are "reverting" back to those sound farm principles of work and save. And throw cash under their mattress and save.

  • Which makes me wonder: What will hard-working middle classers will consider as the next "Wall Street" for the future generations, the greatest, smartest, biggest returnest way to prepare for their yellow brick road?


In essence, AIG, and all their buddies......suck.



I wish my chickens could peck their...big toes until they bleed really bad (that was me practicing internet restraint).

And while X-Network and Y-Network cover their stories blaming X-Party or Y-Administration or What-Ever I have to public endorse a couple of networks and/or broadcasts simply because they're removed enough to back away from partisan dirt-slinging. They're more free to call it as it is.

First endorsement coming from your up-to-the-latest news expert who primarily changes poopie diapers (that's me) is BBC News. I like them because they seem to be removed enough to not play into party politics, and I appreciate that!

Okay next, I loved the following broadcast from Jon Stewart of Comedy Central. I am throwing FOUR links which seemed to stem from his own frustration at how his mother's nest egg was thrown to the crows with corrupt corporations, banks, and insurance companies...now thriving on your (and my) dime.




**WARNING** these are laden with cowboy swear words. And my LAST link actually drops a couple F-bombs. Fabulous story and interview evolves with these (long) clips, so if you have littles around throw on some headphones. p.s. I am a proud endorser and watcher of clean entertainment. Watch up to 3 and then decide if it's worth it if you are a sensitive viewer.

First link where Stewart mocks CNBC presenting themselves as "in-the-know" for all things financial is here.

The eventual interview with Cramer from Fast Money is here (part one interview), here (part 2 interview), and here (part 3 interview with some extra spicy language).

....and speaking of life on the farm, Good News! Our new Prez just passed a law making it illegal to allow "downer cows" (aka cows too sick or dying to even stand) to make into our food chain. You can reminisce when Mrs. Olsen brought home industrial devil chickens home here. While there, please watch an informative video about animals intended for our plates, and how their life is sad :(

Labels: chickens, money management, politics