Dear 2010 Self,

Sometimes it didn't.

Apparently most people know this cleaning trick, since the previous owners did the stove shuffle when they painted an accent wall in the kitchen (red) which was then painted over by me (blue).

So shortly after this visit where I am the "teacher" visiting the woman who knows more than me...well, I pulled that sucker off the wall quite easily, I swept a load of crap in the the first picture, mopped the floor, and then wiped the food sweat from the sides of the stove.

I had a little helper. Isn't he cute? He's my official boyfriend.

Please remember to clean your stove. You never know what desperate consolation prize you need to cling onto when the new year rolls around.

Signed,

2009 Self

I went homemade this Christmas in at least one department: art. With my trusty supplies of...
old photos
exacto knife
cardstock
fine-line sharpies
colored pencils
ruler
scrapbook paper
and The Mister of the House...
I daresay Mrs. Olsen spent a good 20 hours making some exceptional 5th Grade Art. Eat your heart out elementary punks!

5th Graders? No More Autographs Please.

Your Elementary Artist in Residence,

Mrs. Olsen

adorable, right?

Cousin love revisited. Check out Grace rockin' the side pony.

Since my sister moved to Boston, I keep hearing about these birthday parties with 3 course meals, a hired clown, a rented bouncy mansion, and the like. Outside the upper-crust coastline, and back into Zion, mommies get over the top with hand-made 3-D birthday invites and gift bags for the party-goers that cost more (and look cuter) than the one sent with my kid.

So when Vanilla Wafer turned 4 recently, I wanted to lower the birthday party standards for all those moms wondering if they really need to build a water-misting outdoor obstacle course for that overheated summer birthday. Now don't get me wrong, big birthday bashes have their place, but just don't get in the trap that each year needs to be a little bit bigger or a lot bit better than the year before. Here's how we celebrated the life of our little guy this month...



since Vanilla Wafer has been wearing his Spiderman costume the entire month of August, I decided to go with that theme. Every good party must have a THEME mind you!


Rainbow Girl: "Mom, aren't there any balloons? I want to decorate!"
Mrs. Olsen: "...uuhhhhh....I made a cake!"
Rainbow Girl: "Never mind, I found some string. I'm going to make spider webs!"


For easily distracted youngsters, I like to follow this simple rule: Invite the same number of guests as the age of your kid. For us, we had 3 little cousins and the best buddy that lives next door. Sister was a bonus (and my helper!). Sorry if you wanted to come.

Of course, mutual cooperation helps. We insisted that birthday gifts be simple and happy, just like four year olds seem to be naturally. In this case, Vanilla Wafer got bubble bath, a sword, a kite, and total utter happiness. Anything bigger or better than that, and Mrs. Olsen can't sleep cause she just got burdened with birthday guilt.


We really pulled out the stops for this activity. Each kid got an old paper grocery sack to cut out eyes. If they had any sort of attention span, we were going to color them and grab each other and moan like a monster, then try to guess who they were. But alas, on to the next activity....

In this case, it was Monsters vs. Aliens playing as the last of summer matinee specials. $1 admission means I threw a party for under ten bucks! Yeah baby!



And lastly, reminisce all your kids personality styles and quirks. Like sticking out the tongue while he concentrates, obsessive love of younger brothers, and the fact that he wants to marry his mom and asks her twice a day in his crappy late-developing English: "Mwooom, will you mawr-rwee meeee?". Yes son, I will marry you! Here's some cake!

Like Eve, I am finding myself drowning in the chore of removing all the many many weeds presented before me to inflict and torment man. But Mrs. Olsen is fighting back proud. Yes! My yard sucks right now! But it's early summer and my garden is well-nigh into growing and deliciousness is but a few weeks away.....



Okay ready? Besides spuds we're growing: peas, beans, lettuce, tomatoes, squash, & corn. The miracle of corn is waiting for us yet again. Is it waiting for you too?



There's something to be said about letting your kids "work". Like the time I gave Vanilla Wafer the job of planting a row of corn while I weeded the other rows. I ended spending twice the amount of time just pulling extra seeds out of the dirt. Aaaah.



Zeolite! The Mister of the House bought a ton of this, and half of it is still sitting in my driveway. So please, if you want to buy some, I'm selling the extras.

Why should you love this stuff? Well, remember all that big wheelbarrow full of shittake mushrooms from my chickens? We mixed zeolite in with it, which binds with the ammonium and makes it so you can fertilize your garden with it. Otherwise, chicken shnicks are too "hot" and burn plant life. Zeolite also reduces watering needs and makes the best cat litter on the market.

Nearly two weeks have passed since this wee blog was updated. And I tell you what, day after day I've been thinking and runnin' around and doing other things and all the while in the back of my head rests this thought: I'm killin' the blog. I'm killin' the blog.

Oooh, news just in. Mrs. Olsen has been killing more than her blog lately.


As the elders quorum were unloading the moving van...







it's nearly enough to make one an armchair environmentalist...

i do declare: give me a Saturday without rain, a Mister of the House, and my rototiller and I shall make you proud.


but alas, there is hope for the overgrown garden....somewhere on the edge of Grandma and Grandpa's yard in the great state of I-dee-ho.


mi beating heart *adores* Rainbow Girl's upright posture with hands in the lap, Buddha Baby in 5th position, and Vanilla Wafer just being the stud in the suit with spider-fine shoes.

These things are growing like weeds, & I dare not pluck them.

This Easter Weekend we made Resurrection Rolls with the kids.   With young and curious kids, I find myself walking a fine line between creative visual lesson about the resurrection and a morbid presentation on cannibalism.  I have faith in all faithful parents that they can walk the line and keep it as an awesome (and reverent) tradition for your kids.  If you are fretting that this recipe comes a day late, no worries there's always Family Home Evening to catch up on.  Here's a peek into our Easter Fun.























Read from accompanying scripture, such as John 19:38-42 and John 20.

VARIATION: If you want to represent the quiet awakening of the resurrection (and build more excitement and tension for your kids) then start your recipe in the evening:
PREHEAT OVEN TO 450 degrees
PREPARE ROLLS AND PLACE IN OVEN
IMMEDIATELY TURN OFF OVEN

In the morning they will be cooked and ready to go with your Easter Brunch.