Mrs. Olsen, I Presume?

If there's some lovin' on the offspring, reminiscing on the childhood, and growin' into some country air...then just presume, it's Mrs. Olsen.

Posts labeled “good flicks”

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Wednesday Greens: Getting My Don On

Today I went to the store to stock up on Salad-ness. I sat frozen amongst all the lettuce types, and then suddenly got a hot flash. Hot flash because of Don Draper. Hot flash because of iceburg lettuce and a bygone era called "the 60's".



If you haven't heard of Mad Men, then you live in a cave. If you haven't yet watched it, then you are totally missing out. The attention to detail the cast & crew have paid towards this series has won them awards, and when you watch it you'll see proof that other planets exist not only miles away, but decades as well.

In this other planet called Mad Men, chain smoking is the norm for perfectly coifed (and pregnant) females and a round of shots before noon hits the meeting tables at work. I finally figured out that this world was devoid of delicious and ethnic foods when Don Draper, the main character, travels to California and is introduced to the unheard of and interesting food fare called Mexican food.

Aside from that, you will often find these characters ordering "A Wedge" when they're not getting slammed with a vodka. Give me a Wedge with Bleu Cheese and out comes a quarter slice of iceburg lettuce drifting through the smoky haze of the 1960's restaurant.

So today, I thought I'd try "A Wedge". Check it.



What's even funner, I ate this puppy with a steak knife! One clean crisp slice, fork, and slam it into the ole gullet.

I do declare that a wedge is fun. Even funner is this ranch dressing I discovered:


It's yogurt based and so has half the fat and calories as the other ranch versions. Yippee!

Labels: FreshGreens, good flicks

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Letter: Dear Starkadders of Cold Comfort Farm

Dear Starkadders of Cold Comfort Farm,


There's a piece of your English Countryside Farm that has always appealed to me. The fresh country air, the quaint shops a hop and skip down the country lane, and the loyal nature of your family clan. That seed of filial loyalty was the primary exploitation of your Head Matriarch, Ada Doom, who ruled her family's life and the farm from the shrouded confines of her upstairs bedroom. Any thoughts of modernization? Travel? Careers off the farm? were met with the proclamation that "There's always been Starkadders on Cold Comfort Farm" and if that didn't discourage properly, then the trump card was played: "I saw something nasty in the woodshed!"
You see I'm calling you out, because my daughter recently discovered her trump card, and she's been playing it again and again. The nasty thing she saw in the woodshed aroused my sympathies. I even wrote a nasty letter to whoever scheduled "Frosty the Snowman" and "Criminal Minds" back to back. Aside from the indecencies, the healing, comforting, and striving for cleaner entertainment, my daughter derived a sense of power from this trauma, and it's getting a little out of hand.

Exhibit One:
Rainbow Girl is hanging out with her Idaho Cousins and 11-year-old cousin wants to show her something on the internet. Ever diligent, Rainbow Girl asks permission first, and worries that it could be bad to watch. Mrs. Olsen (the mom) says Go for it! and then Rainbow Girl watches the following clip. Afterwards, she becomes the sullen female of the cousin group, and proclaims that she is sensitive. She also gets lots of extra attention and won't go to bed at night. Prepare to be damaged for life:







This coming from a kid whose favorite toddler movie was "The Nightmare Before Christmas". The thing is, she warbles her voice and calls out "MoOoom?" while she gives me a play by play for every innocent, if slightly irreverent, clip, joke, or sibling rivalry.

MoOOoom? (warbly voice of a deserted victim discovered 3 hours post-trauma)I think that the show was inappropriate.

Charlie the Unicorn? I ask.

Uh-huh.

Exhibit 2:
Desperate to refresh our favorite movie feeding off our proud Idahoan heritage, we decide to watch Napoleon Dynamite over Christmas. This was Rainbow Girl's idea, and after our day was done, we nestle in for this flick. As it begins, she reverts into watchdog and says: "Wait mom, Vanilla Wafer (age 4) probably shouldn't be watching this. I think there's some bad words." After which she kills the humor of this flick by turning to her brother after Napoleon delivers his deadpan "Idiot!" name-calling, and says "Hey. Hey. Don't say that word brother".

She gave her brother some excellent training that day.

Time for bed!
MooOom....so-and-so threw a snowball at me yesterday

Please gather the eggs!
MooOom...my cousin told me a scary joke and I can't go outside alone

You're greasy. Take a shower!MoOom...I heard a barking sound under my bed

Signed,
Watchdog parent not willing to be taken hostage by Charlie the Unicorn

Labels: good flicks, parenting, Rainbow Girl