Wednesday, March 14, 2018
In Honor of Troy Leishman, my Sister's Husband
Troy joined the Anderson family through marriage nearly 26 years ago. When Monica started dating Troy there was a general inquiry by the younger siblings about who Troy was. Since there seemed to be an army of Leishmans in Rexburg, exactly which Leishman was this Troy? One of the first identifying pieces of information was the front window of the Anderson home on Apache Avenue. A pair of oversized, nearly body-length windows faced the street from the dining room. Among one of these windows, was something that looked like a bubble, or maybe a lodged marble inside the glass. Having never taken notice of it before, and having asked for clarifying information to link to this new boyfriend, we were invited to look and see this curious malformity in the windows. We learned it was not in fact a lodged marble, but the crusted tomb of a small BB bullet shot from a BB gun in the street. Did we live in a gang-ridden inner city? How had this window not completely broken? Why didn’t we grow up cursing the fool that had shot at our home?
“Well, several years back the Leishman boys shot at the window. At least we think it was the Leishman boys. We’re not sure if it was Todd or Troy, but they were always together.”
Wait, this was the guy that was dating Monica? Keep in mind this piece of history wasn’t ingrained in our minds like it was in the window, it simply came up when we asked. But it definitely left Troy in the market of already having some making up to do, at least before he was given the green light to be Monica’s Number One.
Wait….so this kid who shot BB guns in neighborhoods, he was the same Leishman kid who had the cheesy permed mullet when he was in High School? The very one.
Two strikes!
Nonetheless, the window remained and Troy was welcome into the home. After all, the mullet and it’s accompanying rowdy lifestyle were years ago, and there was a polite sweetness to this now newly returned missionary.
Watching a loved one become a wife or husband, seeing them start their own family, cultivating their new family culture as they bring their own history and expectations, well this is always a curious thing. By the time Troy was given the green light from the Andersons and got himself a pretty little wife, we loved and respected Troy.
We knew that:
A) If Troy was raised as a hunter, and passionate outdoorsman, and
B) Monica was a Coach’s Daughter and grew up in a sports family, then
C) Which culture is more annoying? What would their new culture be?
D) Are all sports people rude jocks? Are all hunters weird rednecks?
E) Would Monica be left with new little ones and be ditched every hunting season? Or worse...
F) Would those cute little babies eventually grow up and (*gasp*!) have their own disgusting mullets someday too?
You think this is an interesting math story problem, but it’s actually a trick question. Because what we haven’t told you thus far is that there was an underlying foundation that was shared by BOTH families. And what that shared culture was, well it trumped everything else. What was it? It was the gospel of Jesus Christ. It was faith in a God who was in fact our Father in Heaven. It was devotion to family, and faith in the goodness of people. It was obedience to a living prophet, and a patient outlook on the work required to raise children.
So how did that translate into the welding of this new family culture created by Monica and Troy? It meant that Monica had to get used to the man of the house not being gone for basketball games, but gone a bit during hunting season. It meant that Troy had to cut his hunting season short sometimes so he could stay home and help with the kids.
Apart from the horrible general stereotyping that has happened so far in this little essay, there was the individual personalities and quirks of Monica and Troy, and that’s where it really gets interesting. Because Monica wasn’t just a “Coach’s Daughter”, she was and is a very capable, smart, independent woman. She can do complicated math in her head at the same time she is blazing creative energy into sewing, cooking, or crafts. The girl can’t sit still and she takes no crap! She is generous to a fault, and yet has a hard time disguising her frustrations at self-absorbed or lazy people. THE GIRL GETS IT DONE.
What about Troy? As you well know, he wasn’t just a “Crazy Hunter”. He was and is a patient and kind man. He built relationships with rough-mouthed construction workers as easily as he did with sports coaches, sanctimonious clergymen, or retail clerks. He started a company by his boundless work ethic, then he made it a thriving business because it became synonymous with integrity and a job well done. Not only did he work his tail off, he still made time to water-ski, snowmobile, dirt-bike, hike, fish, and garden. The man dies at 47 but has left a lifetime of adventures with his wife and kids. That’s because his outdoor lifestyle wasn’t just a man’s club, it included his children and wife as well.
Speaking of children, how could such a macho outdoorsman hold all the tiny hearts in his hands? Babies and little children flocked to Troy. He cuddled and loved on his own kids, and when they grew up he didn’t stop. There was many a church and family function where Troy was swaying a baby, carting around a toddler, or playing with children. He was an expert at playing and he was pure in heart, and children loved him for it.
For our sister and daughter personally, he was a doting husband. He respected her spitfire while simultaneously tempering it. He adored his children, and allowed them the space to pursue their own unique talents, even if they differed from his own passions. Monica and Troy’s work ethic was only matched by each other. There have been many meals delivered, clothes mended, adventures organized, and literal refuge during other people’s personal life “storms” given freely from Troy and Monica.
Not only did Troy not strike out, but he kept batting home run after home run.
Home run #1 – Jaden Troy Leishman
Home run #2 – Alexis Maryn Leishman
Home run #3 – Danner Wade Leishman
Home run #4 - Sage Christine Leishman, and
Home run #5 – Regan Leishman
These kids were and are a testament to the beauty of Troy and Monica and their life together.
Together, these two were a force to be reckoned with! It literally took the thrust of a million pounds of snow careening down a mountain to separate them. Nothing else could have torn them apart.
There again is another trick, but it is the last. For there is no death, but only change. Troy has taken an unexpected adventure away from his sweet Monica for a time, but he just needed to scout out the place. He’s finding the perfect spot to set up camp, gathering wood for the fire. In the meantime, there is work for him to do. For although he couldn’t take his gun, his fishing pole, or his snowmobiles with him to the other side, he took what really made him the man he was and is. He took his testimony, his love of his Savior, and his undying duty and love to his family. He took his joy in the gospel.
That joy remains here with those remaining behind, although in a bittersweet and complicated form. That joy will at times be shrouded behind sorrow, woven in with fatigue, or twisted in with regret, but it will be there. There must and should be joy in the life Troy lived, in the love that he gave, and in the generosity he offered to anyone and everyone he met.
Until we meet again dear brother.
Troy's obituary can be viewed here
Labels: Apache Avenue Memories, Marriage, religious musings
