...begin with an almost alien-like body consumption that cooks your brain it hurts so bad.

I have so much to say about childbirth and how it's a womans rite of passage, but am not sure where to start. Sometime down the road, or perhaps later in the second stage of labor, I might start that rant series, but for now? Let's just enjoy this picture of my sister-in-law prior to going into labor with her first child.

She is practically erupting down the middle and the sides. And BTW, where's your stretch marks Holly....not fair!

Back in 1962, just before getting a major value shift with hippies, woodstock, and Vietnam, my folks insulated themselves from the upcoming generational chaos by settling down as husband & wife. Now I'm not saying my dad was not hip, or even that he was your standard 20th century male-chauvenist pig that the feminist movement despised. I'm just giving a disclaimer for this picture taken on their wedding day, on a warm summer's day back in 1962.

Curvy Bride: Oh honey, tell me all your secret family recipes!

Tall/Dark/Handsome: You are so beautiful today, and this is the last time I'm touching this pot.

Curvy Bride: It shall shine this bright on our ten year anniversary, I promise!

Now in actuality, this photo embodies more of a closing era than it does my actual parents. If a photog tried to pull this off nowadays, he wouldn't be in business.

And yet...something about this picture, this bygone era is so bittersweet for Mrs. Olsen. It seems to be a time when people took the loving, scrubbing, and feeding of kids a little more serious. And if you were a woman that loved to cook, to snuggle babies, and decorate...it was enough. Unfortunately, like our good earth, women have seasons in their lives. Which is why I'm going to be a pro volleyball player after my kids are all grown and out of the house. {concerned pause while soft body morphs into a blob on the office chair}. So anyway!

What was started back in 1962, was a beautiful family soon to have five kids who, for the most part, are all handsome, tall, funny, unselfish, and motivated people. The key to our success? My mom's diligent search of bargain racks so we had the latest fashions for the post-game Victory Dances! Okay, okay. The thing is: they were there. There wasn't a game, recital, gymnastics routine, swimming lesson, or military haircut they weren't there for.

So in honor of this 1962 miracle, I'm asking for a Caption to the Above Photo or a link to visual delights you enjoy on the web. Do I really need to have a giveaway for this people? Come on!

In the meantime, here is a list of photogs who are sure to stay in business in the new millenium:

• Justin Hackworth Photography of all the mission mail I enjoyed during my time as a nun, I'm sure that I enjoyed JH's the most. Visual Delights!
• Amelia Lyon Photography she has no idea who I am, but she married the waterboy to my High School Volleyball Team. Random. Her pics are beautiful.
• Heathernan Photography fellow Idaho Girl turned photog. The eyes! The eyes!
• What It All Looks Like. Photos by news journalist Mike Terry.

There are times when you are mortified you brought a squirmy infant into a nice restaurant. Moments when you show up to watch your kid get spotlighted at school, only to discover her nerves morph her into a stiff-legged robot on heels who jabbers baby talk when explaining her list of faves. Oh, then there's rushing to the doorbell only to discover your toddler is, yet again, running around in his underwear and you look like a grease monkey with a ratty bun on top of your head.


These moments, and more, fall softer when partnered with an apology. I'm sorry. Every person that thinks they might want to get married someday, should learn to say it. Even if you think you're right.

But sometimes, there is a cost for beauty and thus: no apology is required.

Bottom line: week of yellow air : wintry wondry storm : glistening night-time walk : blizzard in my braids : sister on the cell : clearing out the head : still 2 blocks from home : gotta take a whee : wind upon my face : yellow takes a hike : freshen up my brain : sheesh I'm almost there : wet my stinkin' pants : mere twelve feet from home: hardly even care :

No Apology.

** dedicated to "Grandpa Fory" who passed away this week and who was always quick to apologize but never needed to**

With all the running, eating, praying, playing, yelling, crying, dreaming and thinking...you have to wonder, how are my kids processing all this and how will it all end when they're done growing? What will be their personal evolution. Let's explore our possibilities shall we? Our guinea pig? Vanilla Wafer. In desperate need of a haircut.

So we're weathering our first winter here out in the quasi-country. Every day The Mister of the House and Rainbow Girl trudge to the back of the yard...

As an Idaho Girl by nature, I can appreciate the classic Sunday dinners I enjoyed every week of my young girl life: mashed potatoes, roast, glazed carrots, gravy, and green salad. Simple. Beautiful.

Since I'm trying to beef the savings account, we decided to cut our weekly budget for groceries, gasoline, and entertainment to this man:

Former President Ulysses S. Grant, or our weekly 50-spot. Speaking of Presidents, I have been uplifted as an American, as a human, and as a worker bee by the inauguration of President Barack Obama. I hope you all were able to enjoy it.

But back to Ulysses...some of you have asked how it's been going?

A) I have a lot of food storage: frozen beef, frozen chicken, wheat, flour, sugar etc. That helps! I haven't had to purchase any of these since I started.

B) Having Christmas (including specific food assignments for parties) have loosened the strict budget some weeks. My latest distraction? An indian cooking class last week. I just had to invest in some extra spices and ingredients. All in all, we've stayed pretty close to our budget.

C) Gas is cheap. Limiting driving is essential i.e. when Rainbow Girl has to get into town for choir, we try to get groceries, deliver eggs, at the same time. There has been at least a couple weeks when I said: Sheesh, I'm keeping my fifty for food, and giving myself a free fill-up. I also have tried to cut my ignition in the school pickup lane, or even if I'm at a red light for more than 15 seconds.

D) I'm completely annoyed with coupon-heads. Coupon-heads, defend yourself! I really thought this exercise would force me to be the primo bargain shopper, and have followed lead to the big sales....only to find it's like Black Friday all over again. Sorry, everything on sale disappeared by 8 a.m. At some point, I got a package of thank you coupons from Smith's Marketplace and I got to get 4 things, no strings, for FREE. Those were 1) E.L. Fudge Cookies 2) Twenty-Four Pack of Coca Cola 3) Nature Valley Granola Bars 4) Ritz Crackers. Which tells you something.

Coupons lead you to buy processed sugary foods that make you fat.

Hello? Of course I love E.L. Fudge Cookies. And okay, okay, crackers and granola bars aren't sooo bad....but I prefer to delight when apples are 99cents a pound.

For instance, I overhead one Coupon-Head talking about how much her kids wanted cottage cheese to go on sale, because they liked it so much. Okay my sweets! I'll look for a coupon! We shall eat some cottage cheese by this summer I promise! And although I want to save $45 per transaction, is this really the culture I need to be successful? Can you really not buy your kids a calcium-rich, low-fat, proteined-packed snack because it's not on sale?

Okay, I still love you. Keep saving money and once in a while I'll remember to buy Life Cereal at a buck-fifty before the sale ends...but sometimes I wonder.

and lastly...

E) Thus far, we have saved a Grover Cleveland...almost. So something's working.

So I am resident mommy blogger this week gushing about my kid and her passion with music. When you're on a roll....keep goin' right? I needed to record one last recent memory with Rainbow Girl, mostly for her sake. Also because it was one of those tender mercies to the heart of a mother. BTW, don't you love that "tender mercy" has become the latest mormon lingo ever since Elder Bednar's fabulous talk a while back? I hear it at least once a month in testimony meeting.

So the chickens. And winter. It's been tough for Rainbow Girl a little bit. Mrs. Olsen has been doing the tango trying to draw the line between quality time vs. building a work ethic.

Rainbow Girl: Mom, can't you pleeeeeeeeez just come out to get the eggs with me?

Mrs. Olsen: No ma'am, dad already took fresh water this morning (instead of you) and you need to finish your job by yourself. You can do it!

Rainbow Girl: MoooOoom! It's dark outside and I'm scared.

Mrs. Olsen: [pause] I'll turn on the back light and keep an eye on you. I need to fix dinner okay?

Rainbow Girl: PleeeeEEEEz Mom! PLeeEEeeZ!

See the thing is, at this point in the conversation Mrs. Olsen is starting to think that it might be good to get some fresh air, and why don't we just twirl in the snow and go get the eggs together, and she's just a little girl, and she's scared...so just make it fun and be outside together.

And then? I change gears right? I go with her to get the eggs...and then what happens? She absolutely whines and pouts and gets some major sass the next day when she has to get the eggs by herself. So repeat the above conversation, but now you have a pre-emptive teenager finishing off with a 20 decibel FINE!!!! while slamming the door.

So, in order to save her from a yo-yo of emotions, and because our lovely hens and their bounty are all going to Rainbow Girl's savings...I essentially cut her off and said Nope-Nope-Nope! Hurry back and I love you!

That was a couple of months ago.

Aside from cutting her off, I try to remind her to get the eggs before dark. But once in a while, if we're all getting home late from a family party, I'll leave The Mister of the House to unload the car and sneak out with Rainbow Girl to get the eggs together.

The last time this happened was after a Christmas Party. We crunched through the snow, crossed the baby bridge, and picked up the eggs. We lingered outside and Rainbow Girl was obviously relieved and happy to have company.

Rainbow Girl: Sometimes when I come out here and it's dark, I get really scared. But I found that if I sing a Christmas song I feel happy inside and I'm not scared anymore!

Mrs. Olsen: Do you know what that feeling is sweetie?

Rainbow Girl: No.

Mrs. Olsen: It's the Holy Ghost. The Holy Ghost speaks to our insides and will always tell us what is truth. Sometimes we call The Holy Ghost "The Comforter". Christmas songs will speak to our hearts because they sing about Jesus!

Rainbow Girl: [silence] [smile]

Mrs. Olsen: I love you!

What a beautiful tender mercy that was. For real. I am so grateful that a loving Father helped Rainbow Girl identify a distinct change of heart, and helped me to teach her how to recognize the Spirit in our lives. Thank you!

Leave it to Mrs. Olsen's divine maternal instincts to throw a terrified kid into the dark and her overactive imagination. Grateful we have back-up in a loving Heavenly Father who made it all turn out all right (no...I'm not feeling guilty about throwing a kid scared of the dark into the vast dark backyard. I'm not getting the eggs!).

This video clip is mostly for my parents in Hawaii, who missed Rainbow Girl standing proudly in front of our ward (a.k.a. congregation) and sang "The Little Drummer Boy" with me. Here we are repeating the act at the extended family Christmas Party. Love you kid!